Favorite Chuck Norris "Facts"

[H. Banana]

Okay, a few rules:

No more than three "facts" to a post.
Nothing too adultish. You never know who's reading.
Have fun!

I, of course, will start:

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
Why did Atlantis sink? One time, Chuck Norris accidently stubbed his toe.
The only sure things are death and taxes, and when Chuck Norris starts working for the IRS they'll be the same thing.

[Kira]

When Chuck norris give you the finger hes telling you how many seconds you have left to live Chuck norris was a FBI negotiator his job was to say "Hello this is Chuck Norris"

[Sly]

"Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them. "
"Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face. "
"The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide. "

[cruzerbruiser]

For me I will focus on the gentler side of chuck norris.
"Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life."
"He was on the set of Walker: Texas Ranger, and he nuzzled a dying lamb back to life with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb stod to its feet, and recieved a devastating roundhouse kick to the face, killing it instantly. This shows that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck taketh away."

And now some regulars!
"Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's yo daddy?" he knows what the answer is."
Chuck norris is...................................RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[H. Banana]

Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a wimp would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."

Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.